fml fml fml fml

SO, my lovely managers stuck me in a window section with 6! tables. (i am much to lazy for six fricken tables) and no busser for a fricken hour and a half where i was SAT at PRETTY MUCH every TABLE and i got tipped 2 dollars on a 78 dollar tab. cause i wasn't refilling waters as fast as i should of cause i HAD no GOSH DARN busser. and a family of 12 didn't get their cheeseburgers and for no reason i CRIED and eye liner ran down my face and for the rest of the night i looked all haggard. and then, i'm pretty convinced i waited on a pro footballer's family of 10 so that made up for the tips i lost with the shitty tables...

but i cried AGAIN when my manager made fun of me and then AGAIN when i realized that my keys for my house, bike, and locker were in fact, inside my locker... fml.

but tattoo...we may actually have the funds...we'll see

party table from HELL

Omg, its the holidays, right? where people are supposed to be nice and easy going? FML!

So, not only was it a table of TWELVE, but there were 3 rather well dressed BRATS sucking down kiddy cocktails like its the day before lent, but there are 2 hoity toity wives asking for special things on their salads and 2 snooty husbands huffing over the wine selection...oh and the kitchen is going to fuck up each order, bring out half my entrees, completely forget the man who is PAYING the bill and i'm still running around making god-damned kiddy cocktails while ignoring my other 2 tables who just want a "nice" holiday meal by the big christmas tree...fawk.

And then, they think 30 dollars is a good tip on an almost 300 dollar table...fml

oh, training at the walnut room...on black friday

retail genious, i'm sure. let's see, hmm lets just hire and train a bunch of seasonal personelle on the busiest day of the retail year. ok yes.

also, have i mentioned the man that trained me? he was awesome. you know that guy in office space who is all about his red stapler. yes, that one with the thick glasses...anywhoo, picture that but big and GAY! Fabulous! and he's really cheeky... oh these serverforlife types...

this is why i'm changing careers...

hahaha...so, i got paid 250 dollars to talk

So, someone made me do a focus group. ok, they didn't make me. they told me i'd make 75 dollars to talk about yogurt or something. i mean, 75 is 75 and what i still owed Kris for rent. so hell yea, count me in. so i show up at my friends house so she can tell me the deal and we can drink coffee. did i mention it's 8 in the morning. now i don't know bout you, but 8am is early. especially for someone who is marginally employed. nonetheless, i sit there for a fricken hour. it starts to rain, like it always does when i attempt to make any sort of money. so it's all hazy and i'm getting soggy and super pissed and these people get out of their car. i ask if they're looking for my friend which they are. they cant get a hold of her either. they offer to buy me a coffee. i accept. they ask if i wouldn't mind still doing the interview. (of course i don't mind). they ask me questions about wellness and health. i don't even have to eat any yogurt (thank god). they cut me a check which i immediately bike to the bank and deposit. i then bike (in the rain) to be interviewed to be a dog walker. fml, but not to bad today.

the diviest of dives

Naturally, I found a bar worse than the 2way and naturally they are gonna love me. and Naturally i'll never work anywhere on payroll or legit...

another day

Ha! you wouldn't believe what i found out yesterday and how i dealt with it...and no, it didn't get me a job. nothing ever does.

So I tried to apply for this job

Like I have been for the past month...Check craigslist, ride bike, fill out application. Well, after getting halfway to the other side of Chicago it starts sprinkling. So I arrive soggy. And it's just to fill out a friggen application and the hiring boss isn't even there and the room smells like other soggy applicants. So I bike home sadly in the rain and ruin my casual non-jean non-dress pants but the ones I use to apply to casual jobs and get completely soaked and am still jobless. FML...