you get what you need

its spring. smells like summer is coming. maybe this year we'll get one in full effect. hope so. have moved into a new apartment! nothing says new, like i new place to dream. adjusting to only my things and my space, and the noises the building makes.

got to see a rock show. i called a friend to see if he could get me in, then my old roommate actually texted in the 3 minutes after i walked out the tattoo shop offering me free tickets to the very show i was trying to see! sometime the universe does throw us bones, we just have to be trained to catch. all in all, a really great day. got to spend a moment with my pops, a good friend, updated my music catalogue, got ink, saw show. interneted. and i was able to take a few photos with my super sweet camera! which i then realized, came with cords that will double to connect my computer to my tv so i can watch moovies on the very large tv that i inherited with the apartment! life is simple and excellent.

i can't just sit around...excerpt

we could give up, or we could give in
i won't stop, i'll keep movin
what you think hurts, you move though it
these winters give us thick skin

i'd fly to your side in a week
until then i sleep to dream
we can meet in between,
you be orange and i'll be green
you can tell me anything
you can tell me anything

how can a man just sit around?
i run all over this town
i ask questions though lightning eyes
sticks on gates make hollow sound

spring trees make floral canopies
rather make lovers than enemies
not wandering around to be lost
april has been good to me

i'd fly to your side in a week,
we can meet instead in dreams
i will tell you everything,
i will tell you anything...

what if you don't fit

so i'm moving which is fantastic and i cannot wait, and my new home will provide me with all the space to create all the things that are flowing in my mind. but what if you are just too big and you take that as a sign and dismiss me and i can never show you all the things i wanna show you anyways...
i don't even know how you feel but i really wanna share these SWEET THINGS cause i think you'd like them, and they would make these idiosyncrasies make a little sense...
yours
nikki

multimedia extrordinairrrrre

SO! BOUGHT A DIGI CAM. an expensive one. well, one more expensive than i wanted to spend it is good i am makin 200 dollas a night at the vegan gig.
so yes, bought a camera and now i am all excited cause i am researching PRINTERS which means that soon i can make some sweet ass multimedia works! whooti woo. and, and today i went with ava to "the art store" and bought some markers and i spun this wheel and they gave me a free sketch book and in less than one week i will be living in my art space so i will have no excuse for not making pretty pictures and i couldn't be happier. nor could bonjovi who loves to hang with me while i artmake. and, and now i can record, in full panorama the glory i see on my everyday adventures. what!!!!???? life is good.

holy canniloni my leg is hurting tho. i think i need new running shoes. i did the math and that means i have probably ran between 4 and 5 hundred miles on my shoes which is why i may be getting shin splints. fawk. i ran over 1000 miles on the last pair. I did get new work shoes and they are cute and karen approved and even saw the feet tattoos and complimented my KMART JEANS hahaha....

and i'm kinda optimistic again...maybe this time i can be myself.
loooooong day but tomorrow is off and i intend on painting all my spare furniture "porch grey" it really is a color! and packing all my clothes into garbage bags cause that's how we move nikki style.

one week

and i get my KEYS! whootie woot.

also we're goin on day four of no drinkin and i feel fantastic. i'm gonna run real fast and take care of some business....you don't know that but everyone at work is talking in these voices and i thought that while i typed that last bit. i guess this would be a whole lot funnier if it was audible.

I ate a bunch of chicken with siam last night. I got the wish bone, and like a fool i may have wasted my wish but, we'll see. in the end i know why i hoped for what i did.

thank gawd for a day off...this was actually a pretty profitable weekend but i am excited to lay low today, and maybe get some ink.

urban running

bah! i am really good at putting my foot in my mouth...

last night i went to meet some friends for a drink but i didn't realize that they weren't showing up. this table of dudes invites me to sit while i wait and i end up having the most fabulous evening with accidental friends. that is why i love chicago. this eclectic group of people who in any other city would not be such good amigos...love it!

i feel restless again. i'm not myself these days. everything just moves around me and i watch what goes on... i can't tell the difference between protecting myself and ruining things that have potential to be amazing and different than anything i am used to. i want to say i've changed but i just keep reacting the same way.

sentimental and nostolgic, cheesy ass crap i should stop writing because no one really reads this...i need the universe to throw me another bone... i think she is mad cause i stopped writing letters to her.

and you, if you're reading this, i'm sorry for my silly little cell phone and i think i'd want to try again...i'll leave it at home.

i need a camera cause i'm seeing the most amazing things everyday and this whole blog thing would be a whole lot better with some images.

holy canniloni

i knew you had moved on but now that you are moving i am filled with sadness. if only i was where i am a year ago.

cheers my friend. i love you and wish you well. until we meet again.

what should i really be doing?

cause it isn't about money. why do i think with the wrong side of my brain? i was chasing down some tax forms downtown today around 3pm and all the people walking around with folders and papers and going places and looking sad and i wanted to drop a billion feathers out of the window of a tall building or something to make these people forget about paying their mortgages or just looking up because the sky was blue and i wanted to draw it.
and i don't want to feel sad when it is finally getting nice out. i just want someone to buy me a billboard. i really wanted one in november when the city got gray for the winter, so there could be a dash of color in the sky against the drab downtown.

he's leaving for real in just a few days and i know i'll never get to say goodbye cause i didn't get to say it the last time.

you really insulted me and you underestimate me. i'm just figuring things out and i had more class then to just leave you there even though every bone in my body told me to run cause in fight or flight i usually flee.

and you, please make up your mind cause your indecisions make my heart hurt. i have feelings too.

oh, just putting it out into the universe, and (as always) when that doesn't work, the internet

haha. ha. hahahha.

oh the boys with the phallic names as if that wasn't any indication.

and by the way, i might not have a real job, but i make money. and i love what i do. i love the freedom that once i do figure out what my "real" job is supposed to be i can simply walk away. so there. i love my lifestyle, i love working the opposite hours of the day. i love interacting with people. i love being outside during the daylight.

as for texting, well isn't the pot (and i do mean pot) calling the kettle black.

ah yes. thank you innertown for treating me like a local celebrity...was fun last night

its always almost too good to be true!

WHOLLY SHIET i found an apartment. for me! and ME ONLY of course, with the gatos...our own little home. with free laundry. now if only i had credit...gonna try and write a check for last months rent NOW. it is so perfect and tiny. and hopefully mine. gah.

bah

work was good tho... mo money, mo problems...and i had a good time last night ;)
ah, cheers. chicago. summer is upon us.

you are a big fat jerk

me and all these boys with phallic names or near phallic ones...ha. should start naming them cucumbers...

YOU ARE A BIG FAT JERK and you will never read this but i think you are a fuckin asshole and i can't believe you have done it again.

there, put it into the universe. and when that doesn't work, the internet.
cheers

nikki