i can't get a fucking break

seriously.

you can't have the same inside jokes

with me as you do with someone else
can you?

THROW ME A BIG BONE

Universe,

Please please please
I am trying so hard
to be the change

Help me out.
one last time?

don't confuse jealousy with paranioa

no such thing as real intuition

its more like applying hindsight to future predictions

between what i've read,
who i've seen
what i've been

its not my fault for wanting to protect myself
being disappointed not to find me in your musings
and worrying about the intentions of others.

you seem to forget that i have my own deck of cards here.

big ass curve ball

now what

walking around seeing through one version of my eyes
convinced the truths i'd told myself were accurate
fuck
well, now what

waiting?

the waiting is the hardest part.

i'm torn

i should be the one to walk away

you have to pretend, that i'm someone else?
i was always just pretending you thought i was the most beautiful woman in the world.

you're my best friend
but you've really crushed me

trying so hard to step back

and then you go ahead and tell me i'm not worth it.
ruin a pretty good weekend

i am sure there are things you'd rather do
but did you really have to say it out loud
did it make you feel more of a man

now i have to sit here all day
and worry i'm wasting my time
worry
i hate fucking worrying
i shouldn't be fucking worrying.