i had a jar full of butterflies,
but i binge ate
and they are sinking in my stomach
let me reiterate

champion, again of self sabotage

ruining good things
one drink at a time
i guess this brings
an idea to mind

there is just no undo button
on mistakes, you see
too many butterflies are swimming
just inside of me

blasted champions! of sabotage
oh no

part trois

lake michigan shipwreck(cont.)

it went down
it was magnificent, supposed to be
the windy city, her small sea
now there are oceans between us
the tides were rough

you abandoned ship,
summertime here, I’m seeing ghosts
the one I liked most,
there is water damage to the helm
You just saved yourself

and then it falls,
i still see ghosts,
i kept on swimming,
swimming out, swimming south
a fisherman plucked me,
out of the tide,
took me home, on a ride
he nursed me back to health
shared with me his intellectual wealth
and i still see your ghost
but i ignore, i look away

check it

http://www.nikkiproctor.tumblr.com

i can feel my brain turning to mush!

the cold weather makes me seem
a little bit like a crustation
so sorry, i'm chilly!
lets stay in and play the playstation

my desk job took away
my final summer month this year
i've been soggy and grumpy
but i'll change don't fear!

cause winter is time,
for scarves and hot chocolate too
coffee and other things
warming from the inside for you
and winter is time
to build snow forts and wear boots
watch movies and things
there is lots to do...

so i'll be less crabby,
walk around in the leaves
cause i know this winter,
you'll keep warm with me...

ah bah

it seems the whale swimming in my stomach
is bigger than the belly of the one we're in
maybe its just a watermelon, sprouting from seeds
leaves go crunching underneath,
still, spending too much time in dreams
ignoring other bodily needs
the tides pull left and right,
currents try and erode
never was any good at fishing
i write better notes for empty bottles
wanting so desperately to believe
couldn't bear to put the worm on a hook
the car in the cold, throttles
wanting you to want this hard for me

boss is mad

boss is mad, boss is mad
boy oh boy
this is bad

typing bills, typing bills
watching netflix too
when i was a little girl,
this isn't what i thought i'd do...

boss is mad, and boss is sad
man oh man
so not rad

thirty seven minutes left
and then i can leave and bike out
have to find a pumpkin
after i go and run about

boss man, so mad
boss man, so sad
no more sadface, boss man.
monday is almost over

soooo much

that my phone and id are gone :(


hindsight really does hate on me sometimes...