but here is a rant of sorts
AAAK. hate the job. what you gonna do. i am tired of not getting enough credit. do you know what i've been though? we all fight uphill battles. i dunno. parts of me are sad, to spend my days indoors not really doing anything for an hourly wage. and not really knowing what i could be doing. i am tired of feeling unappreciated by almost everyone in my life. i am tired of people who looked down on me, for bartending or waitressing while they worked their "real jobs." i tell you, i made more money.
i am tired. i can't sleep. no matter how exhausted my body is, my mind keeps going at a million miles an hour. i try and pass the time proactively. i hate my job, i have enrolled for an advanced degree. i feel lazy, i go running and try to paint. i apply to new jobs. i feel like i am doing everything i can, or entirely not enough. i just don't know what to do. it seems really hard to get my head above water, and this is the same battle i have been fighting for years.
sometimes when i voice my concerns, i feel belittled. i have needs. i have wants. sometimes i just want to die.
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